Despite everything, we’re
still friends, right?
Yes. I never wanted
you to go away.
She reads through the words. They are just a few among the
countless words exchanged over nearly two years.
Twenty four months (no, 22 months and 21 days, she corrects
herself) are inconsequential in a life that is meant to go on for decades.
But sometimes, it’s enough to change your perspective
altogether. More than enough.
It is what she has presumptuously claimed to be a relation
of a lifetime. Even if it didn’t last long, it was something never to be
forgotten, effaced from her memory.
It doesn’t rankle her to see that so much of her effort,
time and emotional investment – to the extent that she naively thought she was
in love - seems to be going awry. That
treasured beautiful relationship, nearly ruined only to be salvaged again. But
the spark was gone and the distance grew only further.
She was no fool; she had been acutely aware of her feelings.
It was by no means attraction or even romantic.
But she had been too idealistic in believing it could be reciporcated in
the same manner. Had she misread the signs? Wasn’t intimacy possible in a
friendship – did it always have to have those
implications?
That understanding, that mutual affection, that fondness, she had been so happy. So…fulfilled. In hindsight, she
was perhaps too forthright, too expecting. Perhaps trying to define it in the first place had been
the biggest mistake.
She’s had her share of anguish, of despair. It is never easy
to severe ties; it is always painful. To break away from the comfort of
knowing he was there for her caused
her unnamed agony.
Her first heartbreak. And it had been her doing alone.
Believer of destiny
as she was, she held back from assuming it was all over. Unrequited love was
one thing, friendship was another. They had resolved to put the past behind
her, hadn’t they?
The future is always uncertain. She would never know. If only…
......................................................................................................................................
If you are thinking this is what an approaching Valentine's does to me, well, it's not true. ^^
On the contrary, it is meant to be cathartic in nature. This is milder in comparison to this outpouring.
In any case, that is all I'm letting on. :)
It has something to do with what I'm thinking, right?
ReplyDeleteWe can't expect people to respond to us in the manner we want. And the higher our expectations get, the more bad things get.. Distances come in after a point. The charm is lost. We have to face it. Or either try mending it :)
It was a lovely read. Letting go is the best thing to do. You know that :)
I would be surprised if you didn't know.
DeleteI would choose to try and mend it instead of simply letting things happen. Thank you for reading. :D
soulful indeed.. :)
ReplyDeleteWeakest LINK
Thank you. :)
DeleteGosh, I can really relate to this :/
ReplyDeleteThis was very well written though!
Thank you so much. I'm glad you dropped by. :)
DeleteThe first time is always special, isn't it Rose?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful read!
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
Not only special, it becomes a sort of a standard against which you unconsciously compare a probable relationship.
DeleteThank you so much. :)