Whispers Of The Past - A Bleach Drabble

The benefits of having a blog? You get to gush and rave and write about the things you like.

Or, as in my case, the characters you like.

But I'm talking about Japanese anime/manga. And more specifically a very popular series called Bleach.

The following post is a drabble about two characters from Bleach, namely Ichimaru Gin and Matsumoto Rangiku. It's too short to be posted as a fiction story on Fanfiction.net, where I have an official profile, so it goes here.

(For those who can relate to this, admittedly these two make an adorable pair.)

...

“Gin…Gin! Where were you all this time? Is that a Shinigami’s uniform? Where did you get it from?”

“I’ve made up my mind. I will become a Shinigami.”

“…What?”

“I will become a Shinigami and change things. I’ll surely do…”

“…so you won’t have to cry anymore, Rangiku…”

...

Your honey-sweet voice still rings in my ears, as if it were yesterday.

But I can’t hear you screaming my name. I don’t want to hear you screaming.

…I’m content to revel in the comforting presence of your singsong voice, the sparkle in your ash blue eyes, the lustre of your caramel hair, the innocence inherent in every expression of your face.

…The dark sky, the gentle, falling snow. The time when I spoke of my promise to protect you, to avenge you, no matter what.

Needless to say, I failed.

I could not protect you. I could do nothing to return what was taken from you.

I can’t bring myself to open my eyes. For I know you’re there. I don’t want to see it in your eyes that I failed you.

Atonement…oh, how I wish I could be given a chance for it. But I apologised. I sought your forgiveness. That’s enough, isn't it?

I’m sorry, Rangiku.

Your tears streak my face.

I could have said a thousand things but I don’t.

I’m glad I apologised.

A final, soft, genuine smile graces my lips as I slip deeper into unconsciousness.

Goodbye…Rangiku.

I know you’ll be able to take care of yourself, as you always have done.

My eyes close to the sound of your voice calling my name…

I look at my blog, and despite the numerous misgivings I have regarding it (about how I'm nothing a but novice and no one would bother to read what I write...so on and so forth) I feel happy. Content to know that I have finally built a place to express myself. And it won't be just about communicating to a inanimate piece of paper, or worse, a mechanical screen. I can at least look forward to a response. So here goes my second post. It would have been intentional barely a month ago, but now it won't even make sense to the person it was intended to, sigh. Strange how life turns out to be, but in any case, I should let my writing do the talking from here.

...

There was a time, back when the mere thought of being on my own, without you by my side, was terrifying. Death seemed pleasant in contrast to that numbing fear.

All this time, I was alone, enclosed within impenetrable dark walls that pressed onto me, and I screamed, begged to be released. Surrounded by darkness, my closed eyes could vividly imagine a shining light bestowed upon me, brushing away all shadows, like an angel healing with a spread of her beautiful wings...

As the adage goes, you were my knight in shining armour. My faith in you was unshakeable. I truly believed that you would, when empowered enough, come and liberate me. The bondages of doubts, disbeliefs, fears and weaknesses would be cleansed with the strong, binding energy of chaste love. In your embrace, I would find my salvation. I could have agreed to serve you for innumerable lifetimes, if in this lifetime you became the only person to see and accept me as I am; to allow me the courage to stand before you, naked and vulnerable, and yet loved and cared for; to be able to requite the affection I was showered with.

Little did I know, I was living with delusions all this time.

You were but a mere shadow of what I believed you to be. In agony I would cry your name, but you would never come. You saw through me, and yet refused to see me at all. You would know exactly what was it that I was truly trying to tell, to make you understand, and yet you pretended as if you knew nothing.

You only served to deal me a blow of the worst humiliation I could ever face.

I stand today, bruised and wounded, but very much alive. My heart has not been broken, my spirit remains untouched. The only thing I notice as I look back is…

...You taught me to put myself above everything else, just the way you always do.

However it is with a difference. By choosing to live by myself, I will not hurt others; not cause them to give up on the power of love, like the way you nearly did.

Thank you. You taught me how to live, alone.

Flight Of Dreams

How I wish I could fly...

Fragile wings swept away by winds,

Clouds hinder my vision,

The sky beyond is unreachable,

Nestling among trees I seek my shelter,

Against the storms and rains...

I’m not the only one, yet I feel secluded.

The journey ahead is to be made alone,

If only I could ask, if ever allowed

Affection in abundance...tender and soft,

Faith in plenty, will to thrive,

So I may stride ahead, soaring through life,

Only to return to the place where I was;

But with a difference; I see myself in the mirror,

As someone recognizable; I’m my own friend.

That is all I strive for, the vision beheld

Now rises in full glory; only to be a reality

The fragrance of hopes sways me away,

As I walk on, ahead and ahead to see...

Dreams being fulfilled.