Sometimes, you don’t need
reminders.
I have carried the thought
of you with me like an amulet. Hoping to turn it into an anchor, hoping for it
to acquire life outside the four walls of my mind.
Like a colour that bleeds
into everything it touches, I hear you speak through other voices, I trace your
countenance in other faces.
I may have chosen to bury
the corpse of our brief time together in the backyard of my mind, but I’ll be
darned if I can forget the moment of no return.
Your eyes are the colour
of hazel. Here I was, wrapped up in your arms, looking up to you, and in all
that time, it had not occurred to me until I finally noticed.
In that moment, time
seemed to stand still. I knew, against my rationality screaming itself hoarse
through every fibre of my being, that I had fallen for you.
This was not how it was
supposed to be.
You were supposed to be no
more than a blip on my radar.
(And will you deny that it
wasn’t true for you as well?)
And yet this fleeting
encounter - which I envisaged to be my moment of vindication, a badge of
appreciation, cherishment even - became the proverbial albatross to be hung
around my neck.
Entice me with your hazel
eyes, ensnare me with your silver tongue yet again, why don’t you?
And so I wait. I wait till
I forget, and let time run its course through my world, blurring away the remnants
of your presence from it.
I wait, even though the hope that you find it in yourself to make your way back...meet me halfway perhaps, is but a flame that continues to singe me even as I vainly try to stamp out it.
