Thursday, February 9, 2012

Wistful Reminiscences




Despite everything, we’re still friends, right?

Yes. I never wanted you to go away.

She reads through the words. They are just a few among the countless words exchanged over nearly two years.

Twenty four months (no, 22 months and 21 days, she corrects herself) are inconsequential in a life that is meant to go on for decades.

But sometimes, it’s enough to change your perspective altogether. More than enough.

It is what she has presumptuously claimed to be a relation of a lifetime. Even if it didn’t last long, it was something never to be forgotten, effaced from her memory.

It doesn’t rankle her to see that so much of her effort, time and emotional investment – to the extent that she naively thought she was in love -  seems to be going awry. That treasured beautiful relationship, nearly ruined only to be salvaged again. But the spark was gone and the distance grew only further.

She was no fool; she had been acutely aware of her feelings. It was by no means attraction or even romantic.  But she had been too idealistic in believing it could be reciporcated in the same manner. Had she misread the signs? Wasn’t intimacy possible in a friendship – did it always have to have those implications?

That understanding, that mutual affection, that fondness, she had been so happy. So…fulfilled. In hindsight, she was perhaps too forthright, too expecting. Perhaps trying to define it in the first place had been the biggest mistake.

She’s had her share of anguish, of despair. It is never easy to severe ties; it is always painful. To break away from the comfort of knowing he was there for her caused her unnamed agony.

Her first heartbreak. And it had been her doing alone.

 Believer of destiny as she was, she held back from assuming it was all over. Unrequited love was one thing, friendship was another. They had resolved to put the past behind her, hadn’t they?

The future is always uncertain. She would never know. If only…
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If you are thinking this is what an approaching Valentine's does to me, well, it's not true. ^^

On the contrary, it is meant to be cathartic in nature. This is milder in comparison to this outpouring.

In any case, that is all I'm letting on. :)

8 comments:

  1. It has something to do with what I'm thinking, right?

    We can't expect people to respond to us in the manner we want. And the higher our expectations get, the more bad things get.. Distances come in after a point. The charm is lost. We have to face it. Or either try mending it :)
    It was a lovely read. Letting go is the best thing to do. You know that :)

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    Replies
    1. I would be surprised if you didn't know.

      I would choose to try and mend it instead of simply letting things happen. Thank you for reading. :D

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  2. Gosh, I can really relate to this :/
    This was very well written though!

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    1. Thank you so much. I'm glad you dropped by. :)

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  3. The first time is always special, isn't it Rose?

    Beautiful read!


    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    Replies
    1. Not only special, it becomes a sort of a standard against which you unconsciously compare a probable relationship.

      Thank you so much. :)

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