Friday, March 30, 2018

Madeleine

Sometimes, you don’t need reminders.

I have carried the thought of you with me like an amulet. Hoping to turn it into an anchor, hoping for it to acquire life outside the four walls of my mind.

Like a colour that bleeds into everything it touches, I hear you speak through other voices, I trace your countenance in other faces.

I may have chosen to bury the corpse of our brief time together in the backyard of my mind, but I’ll be darned if I can forget the moment of no return.

Your eyes are the colour of hazel. Here I was, wrapped up in your arms, looking up to you, and in all that time, it had not occurred to me until I finally noticed.

In that moment, time seemed to stand still. I knew, against my rationality screaming itself hoarse through every fibre of my being, that I had fallen for you.

This was not how it was supposed to be.

You were supposed to be no more than a blip on my radar.

(And will you deny that it wasn’t true for you as well?)

And yet this fleeting encounter - which I envisaged to be my moment of vindication, a badge of appreciation, cherishment even - became the proverbial albatross to be hung around my neck.

Entice me with your hazel eyes, ensnare me with your silver tongue yet again, why don’t you?

And so I wait. I wait till I forget, and let time run its course through my world, blurring away the remnants of your presence from it.

I wait, even though the hope that you find it in yourself to make your way back...meet me halfway perhaps, is but a flame that continues to singe me even as I vainly try to stamp out it.

2 comments:

  1. I see sweet torment, but I do not know why. It just feels like it. Agony is dear to those who are smitten, perhaps.

    It is good to read you after so long.

    Cheers,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Admittedly, there is torment. Kind of glad my writing could express that.

      Thank you for reading! :)

      Delete

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