Thursday, December 5, 2013

A Callous Estrangement

“There is only one thing I ask of you. Trust me. Even if you acquiesce to nothing else…even though I know I can never change your mind.”

“Why else am I here?”

“…for I know, I can trust you to take care of me, to not hurt me intentionally…to always tell me exactly what I need to hear.”


It might be an illusion, for all I know.

My apathy runs deep.  You see, it was never a question of trust.

For trust I can and I will, always. It is so easy to confide in someone, to give them your undivided time, to do things for them.

Perhaps knowing that you choose to do so willingly regardless of how your actions are perceived and the intentions they serve, is what makes the difference.

So think me to be a fool, or see me as a means to your end. It doesn’t matter.

Turn around and shatter the dream, but my heart won’t be broken anymore.

For I will pull away if you gnaw at my essence. I will walk away if you try to tie me down.  

You see, I choose to blind myself, but I can always see.

So pull the blindfold off, show me your true colours, thinking me to be hopelessly ensnared.

Except, those traps are as frail and brittle as your momentary promises.

And so I continue to liaise, walking into this beautiful, delusional world of my own volition, to revel in those fleeting pleasures that your companionship offers, while returning the favour in kind…

But I’m not yours to claim, nor are you mine. And so be it.


Such paranoid caution…it could be the death of you.”

“Ah, it is but an overwhelming instinct of self-preservation. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“How long can you keep this up? No one can fight alone.”

“No one is indispensable either.”

4 comments:

  1. Every one is dispensable; let's just pretend - in contrast to our mutual understanding of that being an invalid notion to keep - that we aren't, makes it easier than trying in vain. But then, don't forget it, for the other would walk away if the mirage dissolves.

    I could borrow these lines, so, so much times. I hope you won't mind.

    Warm regards,
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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    Replies
    1. It is the mirage that we all try to maintain but one can only hope that such truth as uttered from time to time could be accepted.

      Oh, you may, of course. Thank you for reading. :)

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  2. This seemed like an instant connection - sinking in despair, calling out to numbness, protecting the circle of oneself, pretending strong. I might want to trust everything but there is nothing worth to be trusted.
    Monika
    Reach me here, monika.yadav76@gmail.com

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    Replies
    1. You strike at the very essence of this write-up. Thank you for reading. :)

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